Posted by: neblinoso | January 26, 2010

Philosophically Speaking

I had a conversation with a good friend about what we’ve accomplished in our lives.  Birthdays tend to slap this question across my forehead demanding i validate the previous year’s existence with some sort of rapturous achievement.  Very rarely does one live up to their own expectations.  We are, after all, our own worst enemies, never quite satisfied with who we are, what we’ve done, the mark we’ve left on the past. 

In talking with my parents the other day, my father gave me a remarkably simple, yet wise proverb:  “You can’t change the past, and you don’t know what the future holds, so you might as well live for the present.”  How true this statement is.  I spend so much of my life planning–worrying about what the right decision is and every angle and facet of what each choice entails.  Sure, decisions you make today can affect the future, but nothing has to remain the same.  In fact, change is the only constant thing you can really count on in life.  Why does everything have to seem so final?

I’ve spent so much time contemplating what i am supposed to accomplish in life.  Of course i want to do great things.  I want to make a difference.  But do i need to be a millionnaire to be successful?  Do I need worldwide recognition of my abilities?  Of course not! Yet there is this common rationale, that frankly isn’t rational at all, that money equals success, and struggle is failure.  Without failure we would have no success.  It’s a necessary part of the equation.  My failures have always defined me, made me realize what i wanted, who i am.

If you asked me when i was 18 years old where i wanted to be in 10+ years or what i would have liked to accomplish, it would vastly differ from where i’m at now.  But does this mean i’ve made the wrong choices?  Haven’t been true to myself?  Am i a failure?  Maybe, i don’t know.  What i do know is that our desires change.  Old goals get sacrificed for new ones.  And the older i get, the more i become my true self.  Experiences lead me to where in the puzzle of life my piece fits, rotating, matching color to color.  Transcendentalism will come when i’m finally pushed into place, connecting with the big picture, becoming one with it, completing an idea created by a mastermind.

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Responses

  1. Allison,
    How fun this is seeing you and all your friends together… I wish we all could share a yellow bucket of food and the laughter of song.
    p.s. didn’t quite understand the last statement.
    God has more for you than that. LOVE mama b


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