Posted by: neblinoso | February 17, 2010

Reflections

Someone pointed out to me that i may have offended people from home as i was always praising the kindness and comfortability i felt from my Manila friends.  It was never my intention to offend anyone and i sincerely hope i have not done this. 

At some point i realized the difference between why i felt so different, better, halfway across the world versus in my own home.  I don’t know when this happened, it just came to me one day…a simple thought that seemed to be staring me in the face this whole time.  Perhaps i was looking too deep.  It has been a long time since i’ve had even one person in my life i could share everything with, like a best friend.  A person who understands why you do the things you do and even when they don’t, they still except you and want to try to understand.  Someone who likes doing  similar things, someone who has the same mindset.

I was devastated to leave and cried much of the way home.  In the midst of asking me if i had any knives or other weapons with me, the security lady stopped, looked at my puffy face and asked if i was feeling alright.  I told her i was just sad about leaving and she said, “Well, ma’am, you can come back anytime.”  It sounded like the most simplest solution.  Monetarily, though, it’s not so easy. 

This experience has taught me so much about myself.  I’m not even sure i can pinpoint any specific great revelation.  I just feel like i know myself better and am more comfortable with who i am.  My future is still somewhat uncertain and really, it always has been.  No matter how much you plan, you can never predict everything that’s going to happen.  That would be boring.

I feel like i’ve just closed the cover on one of the best books i’ve ever read. And it’s going to be torture waiting for the next volume, but i’m pretty confident there will be one.

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Responses

  1. as what we’ve talked about before, you can always come here. you’ll just need to save up for the tickets. but anything else is on us. you can pick a home where you’d want to stay. food is not a problem (i’m sure you’re very well aware of that). we can cook, go to different places, ride PUVs, etc. you’re part of us now. so let’s rock, Avatar!!

    • 🙂 thanks Eric. i still haven’t been to divisoria.

  2. Allie,

    You can’t post almost every single day and then quit for two months. I wanna know what happens next.

    Thanks,

    • Dear Anon,

      Until i return to Manila, i won’t be posting much on this blog. Please check out my other blog, contemplation, for all my domestic adventures and crazy outlook on life.

      Thanks for your readership!

  3. Just got to your blog. I know how you feel as I had a similar experience in Scotland when i was in college. Nine months in a urban college setting, Arts, culture, friends, a significant other. it alters your worldview and makes you into someone new.
    Cherish the experience (visit often) and make some new buddies now that you’re back.


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